Past Tense: Facing Family Secrets and Finding Myself in Therapy (Avery, 2024)
An NPR 2024 “Book We Love”

A brave and captivating graphic memoir about the power of therapy to heal anxiety and generational trauma.

When Sacha Mardou turned forty-years-old, she was leading a life that looked perfect on the outside: happily married to the love of her life, enjoying motherhood and her six-year-old daughter, and her first book had just been published. But for reasons she couldn’t explain, the anxiety that had always plagued her only seemed to be getting worse and then, without warning, she began breaking out in incessant acne.

The product of a stoic, working-class British family, Sacha had a deeply seeded distrust of mental health treatment, but now, living the life she’d built in the US and desperate for relief, she finds herself in a therapist’s office for the first time. There she begins the real work of growing up: learning to understand her family of origin and the childhood trauma she thought she’d left hidden in the past but is still entangled in her present life.

Past Tense takes us inside Sacha’s therapy sessions, which over time become life-changing: She begins to come to terms with her turbulent and complicated upbringing, which centered around her now estranged father, who had a violent relationship with her mother and would later go to prison for sexually abusing her stepsister. With her therapist’s guidance, she sees how these wounds and other generational trauma has been passed through her family as far back as her grandmother’s experiences during The Blitz of World War Two. And she discovers modalities that powerfully shape her healing along the way, including the work of Bessel Van der Kolk and Richard Schwartz (Internal Family Systems).

As Sacha’s emotional life begins to unfreeze and she lets go of the shame she’s long held, she realizes that the work she’s doing and her love for her family can ripple outward too, changing her relationships now, and creating a new legacy for her daughter.

Bravely told, visceral, and profoundly moving, Past Tense is a story about our power to break free of the past--once and for all--and find hope.

PRAISE

Mardou's brightly tinted, clear-eyed comics reveal how active self-reflection – combined with art, storytelling and professional supports – can powerfully reshape a person's sense of self and community. — Tahneer Oksman, NPR

“For years I’ve been a big fan of Sacha Mardou’s pithy cartoons, and honored that many have been centered around aspects of the model of therapy I developed called Internal Family Systems. Reading this amazing book, however, brought my appreciation of her and her work to a new level. This is the best—most honest and disclosive—book on psychotherapy and healing that I have ever read! I wept through much of it and felt so much love and respect for her as she shared, with wonderfully evocative illustrations, the details of her turbulent childhood and her journey of reconnection with her many wounded and protective parts and her mother. You will cry too as you identify with so many of her struggles and, as she finds and listens in a new way to her parts, you will do the same with comparable parts of you.”
—Richard Schwartz, founder of IFS therapy

“In bringing her skills as a graphic artist together with her journey of psychological exploration, Sacha Mardou has found a fresh and original way to write a memoir of healing. Not only is her story remarkable, her literal illustration of therapy and self-discovery will give many readers the inspiration and hope they need to change their own lives.”
—Martha Beck, New York Times bestselling author of The Way of Integrity

“Sacha Mardou’s graphic memoir Past Tense is a triumph. Gripping and courageous, she recounts her most painful childhood memories and her dogged quest to heal from her trauma. Her breakthroughs at therapy provide practical mental health insights that readers may find valuable in their own lives: how to forgive those who have hurt us—and how to forgive ourselves.”
—Malaka Gharib, author of I Was Their American Dream

“Raw, real, and relatable. Sacha Mardou’s graphic memoir reflects the complexities of family, relationships, and the ways that we navigate those events mentally and emotionally. Not only does she invite us to bear witness to the unraveling and healing of her past, but she gifts us with an invitation—this invitation is to courageously know ourselves. Like a love letter to your innermost self, Past Tense will bring you home to your heart.”
—Arielle Schwartz, PhD, author of The Complex PTSD Workbook

“Brutally honest and told with immense care, Past Tense is one of those stories that will sit with readers far beyond the last page. Using her therapy sessions as a framework, Sacha Mardou explores her family’s dark and complicated history while letting go of her shame and demonstrating the power of vulnerability. This book is a must-read for anyone working through the tangles of the past in hopes of healing and discovering a brighter tomorrow.”
—Haley Weaver, author of Give Me Space but Don’t Go Far

“Searing, vulnerable, and profoundly validating, Mardou’s own deeply personal reckoning process is forged into a healing sword—an accessible proof-of-concept for the therapeutic potential of comics. Past Tense will change many readers’ lives.”
—Nate Powell, author of Swallow Me Whole

“I’m a huge fan of Mardou’s work. She tells stories in a way that flows deceptively easily, and seem simple and personal but are really universal and kind of mind-blowing. The comics are both direct and abstract. My favorite mixture, and a balance it takes very good instincts to achieve.”
—Liana Finck, author of Passing for Human

“Past Tense is not only a beautifully rendered deep dive into the history of a complicated family; it is a demystification of therapy and self-exploration—something that is sorely needed in these anxious times. I absolutely love it.”
—MariNaomi, author and illustrator of I Thought You Loved Me